Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
