apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
