You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
if i died would you start the facebook group?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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