Sponge bath it is.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
