So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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