The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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