I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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