i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
