worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
