that's an acceptable place to lick
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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