Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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