she was so not down for the gang bang
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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