$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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