His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
