So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
