i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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