just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
