Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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