Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I currently don't understand fingers.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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