I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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