I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
