It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize