Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
