Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
