i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
