i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
