I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
