no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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