normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
