I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
