Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
