Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
