lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
