at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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