Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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