small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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