The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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