i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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