I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
