she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
