Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
