if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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