I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
