It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
