You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
