it was like eating out sand paper
people are starting to question the shark bite story
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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