Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
