Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
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