I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
wow bdsm is so cute
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
