i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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