JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
