Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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