I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
