you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
