It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
