You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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