How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
