hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I can text with my tongue
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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