i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
