yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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