plz talk dirty to me
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My feet surprised me
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
