Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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