Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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