After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
