Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
