so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize