he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
