This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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