Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
