Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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